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Cheerleading? Pah! It's a pastime for softies and schoolgirls, a kitsch parade of pom poms, tinsel and all-American grins. It's not a real workout.At least, that's what I thought until I was invited to train with The ROAR, the dauntingly named cheerleading squad of the Jacksonville Jaguars American football team.
Within moments of arriving for a training session at the Pineapple Dance Studios in Covent Garden, London, and being handed my pom poms - 'shake them to fluff them' - I realise that I am hopelessly out of my depth.
Matt Warren training with The Roar cheerleading squad at Pineapple Dance Studios, London
These women are athletes at the very top of their game. They have six-packs. They can do the splits and smile at the same time. They can high-kick for three hours straight without their make-up running. And I am just a man who does a bit of jogging in his spare time.
They obviously sense my weakness, since they suggest we 'begin gently' with a set of 'simple' bends and twists. But we are soon bouncing in and out of the splits. Or rather, they are. I think I've spread my legs but, glancing in the mirror, I seem to still be standing upright.
'You're doing great,' says 22-year-old Kayla, an effervescent five-year veteran of the team.
'Urrrphh,' I whinge, unconvinced by her pity.
The cheerleaders were over here from Florida to support the Jaguars, who played an NFL match at Wembley Stadium last weekend.
But The ROAR's acrobatic performances are underpinned by constant training - and that definitely does not mean just learning to wave a pom pom and look pretty.
In fact, it's a very particular kind of exercise, and I was warned at the outset that cheerleading and running - the latter being my means of keeping fit - don't really mix. Running tends to tighten muscles, while cheerleading demands the opposite: strength with flexibility.
These women are athletes at the very top of their game. They can do the splits and smile at the same time
Even the warm-up is gruelling, but you need to be supple if you're going to attempt those signature high-kicking routines. Indeed, cheerleading is a perilous sport. There is even a Wikipedia entry on 'Dangers of cheerleading', which reveals that their moves account for 67 per cent of all athletic injuries among female American college students.
'I pulled a muscle in my leg during my audition for The ROAR,' says 20-year-old Caitlin. 'But I just pressed on. It hurt so much, but there was no way I was giving up.'
A sport for softies? I am rapidly changing my mind. With the warm-up over, we move on to a dance: the team's signature routine is choreographed to Welcome To The Jungle by Guns N' Roses. I fluff up my pom poms as the instruction begins.
'The ROAR may be able to learn three such dances in a single three-hour training session, but it's not a skill I possess'
'The dance is eight lots of eight counts,' says Kayla, 'which is around 60 moves. We'll just teach you half of it, though.'Sounds easy enough, doesn't it? We form a line, with me in the middle, while Kayla talks me through the steps - 'Shaking, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, then split on eight. Shampoo . . .'
Shampoo?
'Oh, that's just what we call any move that goes over our hair,' Kayla explains. 'Right, on we go. It's shampoo, one, spin to the back, up, out, together, look, look, spin, back . . .'
I'm already completely lost, but there's no reprieve. Cheerleading requires not just strength but a bafflingly extensive memory for routine. The ROAR may be able to learn three such dances in a single three-hour training session, but it's not a skill I possess.
Even in slow-motion, I am a staccato shambles with my pom poms. I look like a jellyfish dad at a disco. By the time they add music and quicken the tempo, I am at least five moves behind on every run-through. And gasping for breath.
Cheerleading requires not just strength but a bafflingly extensive memory for routine
Not that it matters - this is one of the few forms of fitness that are actually enjoyable. Cheerleading is a discipline you must perform with a smile - it's part of the job description - and it really does help.
Grinning makes gruelling warm-ups and intense cardio sessions feel like fun. It's worth trying next time you visit the gym.
'Smiling is contagious,' says Caitlin. 'Smile and the crowd will smile with you.'
Perhaps that's what helps The ROAR's girls survive such taxing practice sessions - they each have their own personal workout routines, then train together for three hours, three times a week, and then do extras; some choose dance or Pilates (great for the abs), others run up and down the stadium steps.
It has to be this way. An American football match lasts for four hours and they will be cheerleading throughout. No wonder they each drink as much as a gallon of water during every match.
It turns out to be strangely addictive. As we stand together in a kick line, hands placed on each other's shoulders, and begin counting and kicking - with straight legs and pointed toes - I'm mesmerised by the movements. We could be on the stage of the Moulin Rouge.
My kicks are stiff, low and, frankly, pitiful next to those of the professionals, but I feel part of the team - even if I would look rather out of place in their annual calendar.
Cheerleading at this level is almost entirely female. You'd think such a tough sport would attract more men
But, ironically, cheerleading began as just another boys' club, with Princeton's University's 'Princeton Cheer' mentioned in the newspapers as early as 1887.
They didn't do much more than holler, though, and it took the arrival of the first women in 1907 - and their gradual domination of the activity - for cheerleading to become the gymnastic performance we now know.
Today, cheerleading at this level is almost entirely female. But why? You'd think such a tough sport would attract more men. 'It's the kick line,' says Caitlin. 'Most men simply don't have the flexibility. And they'd struggle to fit into the uniforms.' Ouch!
But after this eye-opener, I can't argue with that.
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