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Daily favorite humor health tips to get you started

Thursday, May 29, 2014

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1. Cross your legs at your ankles. Your thighs and calves will look slimmer.
2. 100 laughs a day is equal to 10 minutes of exercise!
3. Cardiovascular exercise will not prolong life. Your heart is only good for so many beats, don't waste them on exercise! Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer, just like it won't extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
4. Calculating your body to fat ratio is simple. If you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
5. Sit-ups will not prevent you from getting soft around the middle. When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want your stomach to get bigger.
6. Cocoa beans are good for you. It's the best feel good vegetable around! I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions about food and diets. Have a cookie... flour is a veggie!
7. Viagra Works wonders for male sunburn. Take 1 pill every four hours. It won't do anything for your condition, but it'll keep the sheets off your legs.
8. For a sensitive toothache cure, alternate hot coffee and ice cream.
9. If God wanted you to touch your toes, he would have made them chocolate!
10. The best way to avoid headaches, and future cat scans is by not being one of those kids who screams in the back seat of the car while Your parents are trying to drive.
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